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Love Bites

Love Bites

I am so shocked that your love bites are intruded in your skin and it is everywhere from neck till nape. It’s been one complete month, I really don’t think so that these are love bites. “Are these?” Naba questioned while I was checking answer sheets of final exams.

I winked and replied, “My husband is wild and he is awesome at bed”. I later covered it completely so the topic won’t drag much.

“Oh Jesus, tell him to slow down, your love scars are openly yelling to every student. Please make sure, he won’t do it next time, not on the visible portions of your skin”. She commanded.

I know Naba was my friend and a good soul but the way she said was not as a friend but an order to a junior from her H.O.D.

After pausing for two minutes, I replied, “Ok; this won’t happen anymore. I will take special care of it.” 

I went home after the day was done but my heart was still worried and I was sad because I seriously don’t want them to be visible. While he was away from home for couple of days I was relaxed. I know the moment he will come, I have to obey him for intercourse; for his sexual filthy desires, for his worst postures, for being his wife, for being his partner at bed, for everything which I hate, for everything which I want to oppose. I was living alive but dead. Dead because I was served in the front of hungry wolf who wants to feed himself- biting me, thrashing me and showing his weird part every time. I hate to born in the family of other backward class, I hate to survive, I hate to breathe and I am alive just because my mother told me that “Suicide is for cowards”.

My nights were less sleepy and I use to get up early before time but I was late to school today as clock stuck seven. I was fine but uneasy today.

It was my month’s day. I was badly wobbling on bed.

I called Naba after fifteen minutes after trying my level best to control the pain but was shattered.

“Hey Naba, I am sorry I can’t make ….”

“Oh God, don’t tell me you guys are doing again? She spoke without listening.

Her words pinched my soul and I puked, “I am on menses; one isn’t hunger of sex all time”.

There was silence at both the sides.

“I hate sex, do you hear that, “I HATE SEX”. I was fuming and her words were as it slit my wounds again.

“Oh, am sorry, I think my words hurts, I take them back” she confessed.

I disconnected without replying.

Struggling with my mood swings I somehow managed to divert my mind.

As it was my first day so my skin was swollen and it was a bad stomach ache. I could feel a constant bad pain. It was similar to prick which continued throughout.

I didn’t get up for brushing teeth too.

Later in afternoon, when I was famished, I somehow managed to escape my room and enter into my kitchen territory.

The first and last easy meal was milk and corn flakes.

It took me no time to have them and they were yummy too.

I went directly to my room and search for pain killers; knowingly that doctor had strictly prescribed me not to take them. It was better to have fever then to suffer that long. It was a silent evening and in this pin drop silence, I slept again.

I was not aware about devil next door. I woke up again in the evening as there was a loud bang at the door, I know who he was.

I was shocked to see him as I was expecting him on some other day not on my periods.

I know him more than he knows himself.

“Hey darling, how are you?” He questioned.

“Am not fine, beginning days.” I replied hesitatingly.

“Oh No, that means we won’t be doing??” He frowned, his facial expressions changing quickly.

Let me get you glass of water first. I replied and tried to escape from his vision.

I know he been so stubborn and adamant on the things he wanted.

I was standing in the kitchen and my tears rolled down my cheeks.

Unaware; that he was standing behind.

“Hey, you fine”. He questioned and picked up the glass full of water.

“Nothing….” I replied and hugged him.

So are we…

“I am not well, I can’t fulfill your desire for today and you just have to wait for next couple of days, please.” I requested.

He was burning in anger, frustration and envy. He threw glass on my face and went directly to his room, shouting.

His reaction jolted my soul.

“Do sex matters that high in which you can’t understand your partner’s condition?” My mind questioned. “Is sex that high on mind which lead you to disrespect your wife?”… “Are love bites only the name of love, tough they are bad omens?” “Do love bite really means love?”

So many questions and no Answer.

I picked the glass again, pour water and went to the room. It was again a try to convince him.

“Dear, please don’t be upset, water for you”.

He threw the glass again and hold me from my arm, pulled me towards himself and clutches me hard.  He held me so hard that I can’t rescue myself.

I yelled louder and louder than loudest asking him to stop. He was ruthless and non-stoppable. He kept on slapping me when I was opposing. I was so tired and he knew it well, so I quit.

He was so much annoyed that he infused all his frustration into my skin. He starting tearing my skin with his teeth.

“No please, no love bites, I have to teach students, I can’t hide them.”

“No please, no no no no…

My requests were falling on deaf ears.

He continually were doing what he feels like.

There was blood all over and I was lying in the pool.

I had blue marks all over my body again. My neck was filled with those scars and the pain was floating in my veins.

Crying for my karma, crying for what type of women I am, crying for everything in which am helpless… crying for everything  its really tough for me to stand up.

Somehow I get up from the bed and started walking towards next room, not able to walk properly I laid on my bed again, helpless. 

Dear Naba, I don’t know why I am telling you all these things but dear don’t share it with anyone I don’t want that people should make fun of my love bites. 

It pinches when someone says that your hubby loves you.

I am going to sue him and file a divorce.

Amen!

by Paras

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